Why do i want to run away from the truth?
All i ever think of is you.
You got me hypnotized,
so mesmerized
and i just got to know.
All i ever think of is you.
You got me hypnotized,
so mesmerized
and i just got to know.
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Yap Pei Fen Rena
Currently 19plus
18 Feb ix e date i got older ea year (GOSH!)
Yellow haf always been my favourite!
Num 17 wil always b my favourite!
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Tuesday, December 01, 2009, 3:37 AM
Months haf passed eva since my last post.Tons of things haf happened actually but i dun really noe how 2 put it into wdz.I started back wif volleybal n i'm really happi coz those who noe mi wel enough tatz e 1 out of 2 things in tis world which can gif mi tat type of happiness i always wanted.I joined V-Element wif Pei Shan n Yan Qi.Wat i can sae ix ot haf been lots of fun eva since though we got 2nd runner up 4 last sundae's invitation match,i'm stil pleased noein tat we tried our best 2gather s a team.Obviously,i expected a champion coz al those teams r really nothing but stil we lost 2 dem.We're not properly warmed up n we dun really haf a proper setter n 4 myself my skills really de-proved alot eva since i was kicked out by LIM PEH HUI when i was sec 4 due 2 sum attitude cases.Wel... I'm glad he kicked mi out though i ain't happi at al but s years passed,i've made myself a better person.If my current attitude ix considered s bad den i cant imagine how ppl can eva tolerate my past's.Ok,now ix e hit.Eva since 2 wks ago,things r gettin more confusin 4 mi 2 even understand wat's actually goin on.I havent face tis matter 4 so long n now it happened again,i kind of dun noe how 2 actually face it.I got 2 noe tis man,he ix really so quiet.I mean i dun mind coz i used 2 b tat way in e past aft i started workin.We started contactin but not everi single dae.We went out 4 supper 4 quite a few times juz mi n him but i was e 1 who kept on poppin out qnz but these few daes was quite surprizin tat he actually wil pop out qnz 4 mi.Cant deny tat i'm really happi upon hearin wdz cumin out frm him coz like wat i sae previously he ix VERI QUIET n he BARELY speak.We kind of like tok on e fone 4 ard 2 hrs on sundae aft i reached my hus area,if not 4 my frenz who kept on pesterin mi 4 open Chrismas gifts 2gather,i tink we stil can tok another half an hr coz my hp goin 2 b dead soon plus i whdn't allow s he wil b workin earli in e mornin.It was really out of my imagination tat he wil notice sum thing abt mi in which other ppl wil least take note of.Yesh,i admitted i'm worried abt him sum times but stil i didn't wan 2 let him noe coz i dun noe.I dun wan 2 confuse myself wif tis type of thing again.I told Pei Shan n Yan Qi,i'm not worried abt wat ppl haf 2 sae,i'm juz worried tat 1 dae i might really......... I understand his situation aft we started conversatin 4 e 1st time but i kind of like lied saein tat i wil oni treat him s a frenz coz i dun wan 2 lose our frenzship s we dun really noe ea other tat wel yet.I dun noe how things wil go in e future but wat i noe now ix tat i dun wan 2 rush things out,even if thr ix a little feelin cumin i rather force myself 2 stop coz i wan him 2 at least try 2 make e 1st move.Wel... I can c tat he ix improvin bits by bits n he tok more den when i 1st knew him so i tink he wil b able 2 get out of tat circle of his n adapt 2 a new him.Tis ix e best i can do s a frenz coz i dun wan 2 force him 2 do sum thing which he doesn't like so if he ix able 2 overcum tat wat i called phobia of his den i'll b veri happi already.It doesn't haf 2 b mi,2 other gal whom might attracts him in e future wil ozo b great.Tis cumin Wed trainin,i chdn't go 4 trainin but i fear.I fear tat.................... Wel... Guess i shd juz 4get abt it.Ani way,itz not up 2 mi either.Wa! Itz 4plus reachin 5am already.Really haf 2 go 2 bed ya.Shall update again yesh.Gd nitezZ! Friday, October 23, 2009, 5:50 PM
Wednesday, September 16, 2009, 12:02 AM
3 months haf passed ritezZ? Haha.1st thing 1st,i've lost e clozeness between my 11 years frenz which i tink itz e greatest loss.I'm stil veri upset over tat but wel... Thr's nothing i can do already.E most diappointin part was i tot they were e person who shd understand y i do tis n y i do tat but in e end they stil didn't understand so tis ix how my frenzship went down e hil.I wanted so much 2 tel dem wat ix actually goin on but i chdn't s i've already gifen my wdz not 2 let ani thing cum out of my mouth esp 2 dem.I'm really sorry,itz not tat i dun trust dem wif their mouths,i juz dun wan ani 1 2 noe abt ani thing we haf done.In e end another 1 wil b hurt among dem so i chose 2 keep it 2 myself n allows it 2 oni bothers n hurts mi.I wil nv allow ani harm 2 go 2 my 11 years frenz.He haven been contactin mi eva since tat veri dae,i told him i wil nv take initiative n i'll wait until he takes e initiative 2 contact mi.Though we might b stayin so cloze but itz like s though we're thousand miles apart.My family,my relatives,my frenz al encouraged mi 2 gif chinese mens a try but when i really felt like tryin,they gave mi SHITS! Now,i dun really care no more.Wat i noe i need 2 work even harder now coz my daddi juz passed away n i haf gifen my wdz in which i s e eldest daughter in e family,i'll take care of my mummi n my bro.Though i'm stil not stable wif my incomes n so on,i believe i'll succeed 1 dae.Abt findin e ritezZ man 4 my life,i'll juz delay it 4 e time bein coz no man can proves their worth yet.Thursday, June 18, 2009, 11:37 PM
Cant believe in e end,itz stil u who wil listen 2 al my naggin! I dun wish ani 1 2 noe abt tis,tatz y i confessed 2 u coz i knew u're e oni thing who whdn't let ani thing leaked.I'm gettin really confused wat makes him stil stay wif mi.No,he doesn't love mi coz he doesn't even care.Women r his preys,a source of wat keeps him entertained n i'm juz 1 of dem.I dun noe y m i stil stayin even noein tat i'm juz been fooled ard n he ix not e type of man i'm lookin 4.I dun even noe wat i'm doin.Wasted 6 years lookin 4 e ritezZ man of my life but i stil failed.I felt so worthless,so used n i cant even stand myself hafin 2 convince myself tat i'm happi,i detested tat faked smiles n laughters of mine! When can i eva find a man who can sacrifice himself juz 2 make mi happi? Perhaps oni in fairytales such things wil happen.Cum on! Tis ix reality,Rena! Itz time 2 wake up n stop lyin 2 urself tat mayb sum thing happens sum times.Wat i noe now ix i'll juz put al my concentration in workin n 2 whether he ix foolin ard wif other gals or not i ain't interested no more.I'm tired 2 even qnz y mens cant haf enough fun.My frenz started 2 ask mi y haf i eventually b came such n since when haf tat cant b bothered attitude got into mi.I tink i haf really came 2 a stage whr by carin less ix a better way,it wont hurt tat much if eva thr's a dae 4 gd bye.I told myself nv 2 care 4 sum thing which i noe juz whdn't work out coz i'm afraid of fallin,shattered n aches.Sum times,itz so funni! When u started 2 care,ppl love 2 take advantages of u n take everi thing 4 granted but when u stopped carin,they wil tink u're seein another person n u no longer feel 4 dem! I hate tat! RENA! STAND FIRM! Aft al,itz my decision 2 make,whether 2 stay happi or pull myself down wif unworthy stuffs! Ea time i feel like settlin down but e other party juz chdn't compromise.Itz hard 4 mi,u c.I knew i'm stil young,i can find ani types of man i wan but i need 2 find sum 1 whom i can entrust my love 2.AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so stressed! No 1 ix here 2 even listen 2 my story! His egoism ix juz too high n his stubborness ix too tightened! Itz difficult 2 communicate tis way! Ea time i sae sum thing,vagularities wil b splittin onto my face! JUZ HOW E FUCK CAN TIS BLOODY RELATIONSHIP MOVES ON?! I DUN UNDERSTAND AT AL! MAYB I SHDN'T EVEN HAF LET TIS START! Look! U're juz another gal he dated out,Rena! He ix not into u at al so y do u even haf 2 put in so much 4 tis so called relationship? So stupid aren't u? When he ix angry,he find another gal n fuckin left u alone n e point ix he doesn't even care! HAHA! WAT A JOKE! U knew tat he doesn't even care but u stil allows him 2 stays on in ur life,tatz even more stupid! MOST FOOLISH THING 2 DO,i whd sae! GOSH! I cant continue tis,I guess i'm gettin crazier,fancy tokin 2 myself in my own private blog! DAMM! Let's juz relax n c wat wil b next... I WAN 2 CRY SO HARD TIL I GET HEART ATTACK! Perhaps i wil feel better? Haven really try but soon... =P
I wan my future man 2 b like tis!
A guy who wil text u everi single mornin n tel u gd mornin n everi single nitezZ 2 tel u tat he loves u b4 goin 2 bed...
A guy who wil hold u when u're cryin n wipe away ur tears...
A guy who wil stil tink tat u're beautiful wig no make-up on,wearin ur most torn up jeans n a plain tee-shirt...
A guy who wont pressure u 2 do things tat u dun wan 2 do...
A guy who kisses u on e forehead n sae it doesn't always haf 2 b on e mouth...
A guy who doesn't kiss n tel...
A guy who actually listens 2 u when u tok...
A guy who's waited al dae b coz he ix lookin 4ward 2 our date tat nitezZ...
A guy who ix content 2 juz b able 2 hold u n wan nothing more...
A guy who cant help but smile when u walk into e room...
A guy who's perfectly content wif stayin in,watchin movies n cuddlin...
A guy who wont lie 2 u abt whr he's goin or whr he haf been 2 or who he ix wif...
A guy who gets butterflies when he hears ur name...
A guy who's not afraid 2 tel his frenz he loves u!
A guy who doesn't mess wif other gals when he already haf u n u're e oni 1 tat he needs...
A guy who doesn't care abt ur imperfections n loves u more 4 dem...
A guy who sae,"who wan a perfect girl? tatz juz so boring..."
A guy who wil hold u while watchin e sunset...
A guy who ix able 2 prove tat HE'S E GUY WHO REALLY WAN 2 MAKE U E HAPPIEST GAL IN E WORLD!
Friday, April 10, 2009, 10:31 PM
Monday, November 17, 2008, 7:30 AM
It's Over Now lyrics
Can you tell me your secrets
Then I tell you mine
Show me that you still love me
Then I show real love
[Chorus:]
What kind of love have you got?
You should be home but you're not
I don't want to believe that it's over now
I could be wrong, but I'm not
And you still think you're hot
I don't want to believe that it's over now
You're walkin' the wire
Looking for love in between
But you don't have desire
Do you know what I mean?
[Chorus]
Is it over now?
[Bridge (2x):]
Wake up
you lose my lovin
Wake up
you stop thinkin
think twice
About the things you have said and done
Wednesday, August 20, 2008, 1:45 PM
Doing Too Much lyrics
(feat. Baby Bash)
I'm leaving messages and voicemails
Telling you I miss you
Baby am I doing too much (too much)
Why you tryna diss me
When I just wanna kiss you
Baby am I doing too much (too much)
Tell me what's the issue
Who I give these lips to
Baby am I doing too much (too much)
This is turning into
Something I ain't hip to
Baby am I doing too much (too much)
See you got me all alone
Waiting right here by the phone
For you to call me,Just to hear
Your voice tone
I keep on wondering if you was even
Feeling me, I keep on wondering if
This was even meant to be
Tell me imma waste of time, boy
You showing me no sign, is it cuz u on
Ya grind, cuz you're always on my mind
I keep on wondering if everything you said was true
I keep on wondering if you were really coming through
Now here I go again blowing you up,
And my girlfriends keep telling me
I'm doing too much
Now here I go again blowing you up,
And my girlfriends keep telling me
I'm doing too much
I'm leaving messages and voicemails
Telling you I miss you
Baby am I doing too much (too much)
Why you tryna diss me
When I just wanna kiss you
Baby am I doing too much (too much)
Tell me what's the issue
Who I give these lips to
Baby am I doing too much (too much)
This is turning into
Something I ain't hip to
Baby am I doing too much (too much)
I'm out with my girls tryna have a good time
And you know I'm looking fly tryna meet sum other guys
But it gets hard sometimes cuz there ain't no one just like you
I try my best but I can't shake this thing u got me going through
All i can picture is the color of your eyes,
and the way u make me smile
I ain't felt this in a while,
But I came to a conclusion that this is pure illusion
Chaos and confusion but I'm not gonna let it ruin
The way I feel about myself cuz I got self-esteem,
sometimes I
Wonder if I'm just chasing a fantasy
The way I feel about myself cuz I got self-esteem,
sometimes I
Wonder if I'm just chasing a fantasy
I'm leaving messages and voicemails
Telling you I miss you
Baby am I doing too much (too much)
Why you tryna diss me
When I just wanna kiss you
Baby am I doing too much (too much)
Tell me what's the issue
Who I give these lips to
Baby am I doing too much (too much)
This is turning into
Something I ain't hip to
Baby am I doing too much (too much)
[Baby Bash:]
Just leave ya name and number
And I'm gon holla at cha
Just leave ya name and number
And I'm gon holla at cha
Just leave ya name and number
And I'm gon holla at cha
Just leave ya name and number
And I'm gon holla at cha
Ronnie Ray all day
Women in the hall way,
Ev day losing track of the people tryna call me
Don't take this the wrong way,
I been having long days,
doing it,
moving
Round the town wherever I'm getting my song played
Now here I go again blowing you up,
And my girlfriends keep telling me
I'm doing too much
Now here I go again blowing you up,
And my girlfriends keep telling me
I'm doing too much
I'm leaving messages and voicemails
Telling you I miss you
Baby am I doing too much (too much)
Why you tryna diss me
When I just wanna kiss you
Baby am I doing too much (too much)
Tell me what's the issue
Who I give these lips to
Baby am I doing too much (too much)
This is turning into
Something I ain't hip to
Baby am I doing too much (too much)
Doing Too Much